At about 3 a.m. this morning I threatened to give my breasts to Ben so he could feed Reed. Thank you sleep deprivation.
To be able to laugh at the absurdity of being a new parent is such a priceless gift! Motherhood, in all her beauty and insanity, committed a hit and run on me. I felt as if I'd been pummeled into the pavement, helpless and without hope of recovery. And while I still can't imagine anyone choosing without cause to forego real sleep for hour and a half catnaps throughout each day and night, being able to laugh at what otherwise might make me cry has helped me accept and even enjoy our new way of life.
Two nights ago, about 2:30 a.m., Ben and I were both up and at our wits end as we tried to figure out what in the heck could possibly be wrong with Reed. So Ben decided to change his diaper (again), which was dirty (again). As he took off the old diaper and positioned the new clean diaper, Reed began to pee everywhere, ruining his pajamas and diaper #2 (goodbye money). After cleaning up that mess, Ben put diaper #3 on his little rear and not two minutes later we heard the sound of the third diaper being filled with a new treat. We both looked at each other, waiting for the other's response, and then both collapsed into hysterical laughing. Who knew one kid could go through four diapers in ten minutes?
I'm thankful for laughter in moments like that.
My emotions are also slowly beginning to recover their composure by a simple truth I was reminded of. The best relationships are knit together through shared experiences. Reed is gifting the two of us with this crazy experience of being his parents, a shared experience that can make our relationship deeper, closer, and more beautiful. And on top of that, being Reed's parents is a unique shared experience that no one else on the planet can have. In fact, Ben and I will not be able to replicate this experience ourselves even if we have other children in the future. Realizing the potential our new experience has to positively change our marriage has helped me embrace the hardest thing I've ever done.