But last night, someone asked us to tell our story, quickly followed by the "How did you know he/she was the right 'one'?" Whether or not there's a "one" in terms of how our culture defines that is a whole other blog.
But, how I knew Ben was the guy to marry:
- He is quality. Ladies, there's a lot of junk out there (you know it, too - we've all dated some it) and a lot of people with a Peter Pan mentality (no, they will never grow up and be the person you want them to be). Because there's so much junk out there, quality ain't hard to see.
- I'm comfortable in my own skin. Most women deal with insecurities, me not excepted. But I'd resolved before I ever met Ben that I'm God's child, a work in progress, and have a lot going for me.
- We weren't playing games. It took him less than two weeks after meeting me to tell me he liked me and wanted to pursue me. I clearly and emphatically communicated that was wonderful because I liked him too!
- He has a solid reputation. Friends knew, liked, respected, and recommended him.
- He spent the first five days of our dating relationship hanging out with my family. It showed me that he respected people who were important to me and he sacrificed time and energy to do something potentially uncomfortable.
- We communicated comfortably and regularly.
- We were both at a place where past emotional relationships were dissolved and resolved.
If that list seems extremely practical - and not highly romantic - it's because I'm a practical person by nature. Ben and I experience a wonderfully emotional and romantic relationship but only because those seven pieces are in place.
I can only write this now because I've been in the opposite situation more times than my ego will let me admit. And I celebrate God's grace that finally brought me to this wonderful, insightful man I did marry!
For all the ladies in waiting, I hope our story is insightful. For all the single guys, I hope you man up and ask a quality woman out (need help? see this post).